I'm in such a weird mood today - I'm kinda feeling really stubborn this weekend perhaps a little emotional, and I'm really missing Ross too.  I want to speak with him so much, cause even when he would wind me up - I knew he was always there.  And yeah I guess I'll just talk to him in my little head, just not quite the same is it. 


Ok first off, I believe I owe Steve an apology for my comment about not agreeing to go for a drink with him, and apparently I did agree.  But my memory fails me, and I really can't remember this.  So if I may be allowed to retract that comment - I will.  And I accept that was unfair of me to say.  Secondly just to say thanks to Alan for the comments you wrote (as mentioned in previous entry) - I'm not going to give any retorts back, however if you wish to continue leaving bitchy messages...at least have the decency to leave your name - if you will say these things, at least acredit them to you.  I shouldn't even be having to write this in here, but since I don't know when I'll ever see you to speak to or anything...and since I know you've been reading this - well what the hell, let's be immature too.


There's a few things I may have failed to mention as to why me and my ex don't talk anymore, and why I don't overly care to - aside from the fact that I made the effort to be friends and he threw it back in my face.  If I do indeed need to tell him, other reasons can include the fact that he slated me behind my back too after we split - so lets call it quits if you want to insist on me being two faced.  And more over, as much as my 'friends' seem to forget my Dad died last year; and you know I never expected anyone to understand this (I don't think you truly can until you experiance this yourself) how many were actually there for me?  I never asked for sympathy and I still won't, I never expected them to be there for me 24/7 as a shoulder to cry on or anything, all I actually ever wanted was a little consideration for my feelings and to know that they were there for me.  But you know I can probably honestly count on one hand my true friends that were actually 'there for me' - yes maybe I didn't cry to them or anything, but I knew they were with me - and no matter what, I will always be eternally grateful to those few and I love them to bits.  And my ex even as a friend...perhaps he did care once, well perhaps for a few weeks after my loss - but regardless of what was or wasn't between us, he wasn't there for me.  He may protest this, but that is how I feel.  If I am wrong then I guess thats just how it goes.  But when alls said and done - what's done is done and that is that.



And so on a perhaps lighter note, I'm gonna go cook lunch.  Much Love.

Things happen to us in our lives all the time, that open our eyes to what's really going on around us. At least you discovered who your REAL friends were honey... the others you can forget about and move on from. xxx