Hey Webmasters! New Photo Album Service Launched - Check it out!
Insightful...perhaps.
I'm sulking okay.
My Vitriol - Always: Your Ways (Acoustic Version)Ok, so I seem to have encountered a bad mood this week - and I'm yet to shake it loose. I'll be ok generallly...until someone triggers me off with their perhaps not so special personality traits. Hmm
Anyway in my bad moods, I tend to be quite quiet - normally because I know this way it's safe...there's always the risk of causing offence and hurt without intention and all that, so being quiet means I must occupy my mind in some way...I think.
Today's thoughts have included - what the hell am I going to wear tonight? Are most of my friends really as stupid and self-centered as they appear to be? Has everyone forgotten about Ross already? And the answers...well I've found an answer to what to wear, although this is subject to change (I do have girly moments sometimes ok). The latter two of my thoughts...well for a long time, since I was only just a teen, I've accepted the fact that the majority of my friends are either 1. Not true friends 2. Self-absorbed 3. Selfish and insensitive 4. On another planet. I've pretty much carried this opinion throughout school and such like...everyone is just a bit too "me,me,me". Granted you know, everyone is entitled to 'me' time and talk, I accept that, and I like to hear about what different people have done etc. But do you ever find yourself having conversations with people/friends and thinking, you mean nothing to them, they don't care about your life or what you do or say - but you make a great bragging/moaning post for them. I don't really know what I'm trying to say precisely, there's two sides to everything, I just wish there was two dimensions to some of my associates (lets not call them friends, that would be a bit rich) instead of just the one, and just the one record playing.
Funny, sometimes I would have classed Ross as being one of those friends whose just all about themself and nothing else...but I think that was just me getting in funny moods. I miss that dude, and I hope his family are doing ok. I do wonder though, out of all those friends that turned upto his funeral - how many of them actually give him a second thought. Everyone is different in how they deal with things, some people talk about loss's, other's don't...it took me a long time to talk about the death of my Dad, and I still rarely do partake in such conversations. But it just seems with some people, that they didn't really care - yes they were upset about Ross being killed, but it didn't effect them deep down - they've all got their new boyfriends/girlfriends, new car's etc etc...they're happy and thats it. I seem to be the only one who mentions him - the only one who says do you remember that, etc. Perhaps I have the 'advantaged disadvantage' of having experianced loss, so can cope with it better, can talk about what was as well as what is. I don't know, maybe the question could be asked, why should they care - they're happy. I just can't do that, I can accept the loss, and I can move on and be happy - but I can't forget, and I can't not talk about the 'days before he went away'. But I think I'll just have to talk to myself, no one else seems prepared to converse on such subjects - no did when my Dad died, no one would mention him or anything - and sometimes that hurt just as much as knowing I'd lost him. Like salt in a wound.
Oh well, life is too short to dwell.
Bravenet Blog 
Blog Community
Get a Free Blog
Manage your Blog
bravenet.com